Thursday, June 16, 2011

Prep the Patient

                                                  
                                             
I know I said that I would write the next blog on being lukewarm but thats not whats on my heart right now. It's not on my heart because I am not lukewarm. Sometimes we try to be the Holy Spirit and the Lord has told me this is your time to be the student so STOP preaching. Sometimes life can be so hard and you're wondering what the heck is going to happen. I know that all things happen for the goodness of God or all glory to God. Nothing just happens God always works, Blessed is the one that knows it.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:2

The next thing step in my heart transplant is preping myself. God has been ready for me for almost
21 years and He was and still is waiting patiently for me to get ready. Like I said before I am not lukewarm so it's not that I'm getting ready for God to be the head of my life. This preperation is for what God's will is for me next. I don't know what it is either, but I know it's BIG! I'm in the door and the Lord has closed the door and locked it and threw away the key. To me the hardest part is over. In this relationship that I'm having with Christ we are doing very well thanks to Him! I have gotten to know Him a lot more on an intamite level. Now, its time for some fun. After two weeks of isolation from my friends. I have started to hang out with my friends a little more but I still feel like God is training me to make time for Him everyday! Because I have surrendered my life to Christ the Holy Spirit is more clear than before. Everday the Lord woo's me into his arms by using the Holy Spirit to tell me "It's that time, I want to spend time with you alone." Now ladies, isn't that what you want to hear from a man? I know I'm going to want to. God wants you to want Him the most. So with that direction I'm going to fall in love with myself. I'm going to treat myself just like Jesus would if He were still on the earth physically.

Last night I was watching the Monique Show and she was talking about dating yourself. I was so intrigued because that was exactly what I needed. I will never NEED a man again and right now I don't want just anyone. I'm not interested in trying to figure someone out or giving guys a chance when I know deep down it aint gonna happen!! So like my girl Fantasia said" I'm doin me!" I'm going on dates, Im getting dressed up, I'm taking my self out to eat, I'm making myself korney gifts all of that! One thing that Monique said on her show that had me rolling on the floor was:

"Ladies take yourself out to eat, go to somewhere fancy. Oh, you can't afford that? Well next time a man askes you out and he can't afford the fancy resteraunt you think you deserve. Don't be mad because you can't afford you either!"

I summarized that of course but that was too funny to my soul! We expect so much from men, we even make checklist sometimes of what type of man we want to marry. okay so make a checklist, men you too, come on I know I just made fun of women who do it but make one. Seriously, Go!

I trust you have made your checklist and if not remember God is watching! ha ha. Now, look at your list. Do you posses all the things you have on that list? Have you ever wondered that the things people put on a list are things that they don't posses. I know what you're thinking right now. "Well he/she is going to complete me." This is where the issue is we're looking for someone to "complete" us when in realty (and yes reality to a believer is through Holy Spirit lenses) we will never be complete until Jesus comes back with a tattoo on his thigh (Revelation 19:16) Yeah, I said it, A TATTOO! Look it up my sister/brother. And you thought thigh tattoo's were trashy and un lady like. And to the men it's not just a girl thing, the best man ALIVE did it! ha ha! Excuse me for getting off task I just had give that to you for free.
If you're looking for someone to make you feel better or to complete you, give it up. It's not going to happen. Maybe for a short while, but oh how eternity looks better! You may be saying that opposites attract, and for the most part you're right. But as a woman or man of God there is one thing that should be at the top of your list and that is a man or woman who loves the Lord with all his/her heart, soul, and mind. That is the one my friend that can never be compromised and always has to be the thing that you two have in common.



Be the person you described on that list and if you don't have somethings ask God to make you complete and to transform your mind on what a husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend should mean to you.

 One of my best friends Candace has taught me by example how to be in love with yourself. She knows that at the end of the day no one could love her  more than she loves her self besides Christ Jesus. Because of that she doesn't expect perfection from an imperfect being either girlfriend or boyfriend. I love that about her and I will cherish that lesson forever.

I'm doing this diet for 40 days called HCG and I'm determined to do it all the way. With the help of God I will get through it in the name of Jesus. I have to be honest I did have to make sure I was doing this for the right reasons. First of all if I complain about something I'm going to do something to fix the situation. I'm about to get personal, I hope you don't mind. Second, I've battled that pouch for YEARS and its about time that I get rid of it.Third it well help me stop from saying "I'm gorgeous...but if I could just have a flat stomach"  and Fourth, I'm publishing this on the internet setting this goal so I have to stick to it or the next time you see me you won't be like uhhh? ha ha! Most importantly I'm doing this for me. Like my man Drake said "slimin' down preparing for summer, but she don't do it for the man, man never notice, she just do it for herself, she the freakin' coldest."  I have to love myself as much as Jesus Christ loves me! Loving the things that he loves and hating the things that he hates. I'm not saying he hates people that don't look like beyonce, but he does not like when you compare yourself to people.

"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else," -Galatians 6:3-5

Loving myself doesn't mean being conceited or arrogant. It means valuing yourself, cherishing yourself, taking care of YOURSELF that includes your OWN relationship with Christ, your skin, hair,toes, nails, clothes,and body.

Go ahead look at yourself in the mirror and say "I look good!" "I'm wonderful" "I'm fearless" because you are! I know because in the bible David told us what God thinks of us.

 For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
                              -Psalm 139:13-18

It is important that we realize that the creator of the universe, God, deeply loves us and that, that love ALONE is ALL WE NEED. That it is not man on earth that determines our value. We are who God says we are. 
It is important that we love ourselfs like Christ loves us because if we don't we start to depend on others to make us feel loved and that my sister/brother in Christ is called "codependency" and that is an idol. It is the hardest to let go of. Trust me,  it's a part of my testimony.

"When you begin to truly believe that the Lord of the universe loves you unconditionally, you will trust the Holy Spirit within without any hesitation."
"When you begin to truly love yourself  like Christ loves you,  you can trust that voice inside without any hesitation."
                                                                 - Ashley Benson


Thursday, June 2, 2011

Walked into the hospital and He locked the door behind me.


Thank you God for always being there for me. Thank you for being The One. Thank you for what you've done already and for what you are molding now and what you are going to do in the future. I trust you Lord may my heart be content with your plan and your way. It is only by your grace. Thank you for being my comfort, thank you that you have made me realize that I am no ones but yours. Thank you for helping me realize that I am not of this earth that the reason why I feel so odd sometimes is because my soul longs to be home with you God. I pray that I my soul would never take its eyes off of you. Amen.


I don't know what I am writing about today. When it seems like nothing else can go wrong... it does. When you feel like God is right behind you and then something happens in front and your forget that God is there and then you turn your back to walk away and you don't even acknowledge Christ. Am I the only one that understands what I am talking about right now? That's okay, I suppose, because this isn't really for anyone but me to understand. Sometimes I get in these moods where there is so much going on, or it feels like it there is, and it becomes overwhelming and I don't know where to begin. It is the most frustrating thing ON EARTH. It's the most frustrating thing on earth for there to be so much to do that it seems hopeless. We can think about this when we think about the world and its overall issues like AIDS, Cancer, Global Warming, the war etc... We know there are so many things that need to be done but we don't know where to start. So half of the world does nothing because they are consumed by the hopelessness and then there is the other half that does what they can and keeps in mind that every great thing started with one step.

All it take is one word to start a sentence. BUT YOU HAVE to start.

Now this relates to me as an individual and I'm sure it would to everyone else on earth. Micheal Jackson has a song that goes "If you want to make the world a better place you better look at yourself and make a change". I am really about to take his advice! My goal in life is not to be rich but to be stable enough to give as much as I have received. In order to help others I must get me right. You know that I am a believer in Christ and if you have read my previous post you would know that I have now been in this dating relationship with Christ for one week and four days. It feels like it has been so much longer than that but I am so thankful for this time because He is teaching me something everyday. I once wrote in my journal that if God were going to take something away, he would just have to remove the feelings but that he was going to have to give me a brand new heart. Well my friends its about that time I get ready for surgery. God allowed me to have one more weekend outside the hospital but now its time that I go and when I did yesterday Jesus shut the door and locked it. Jeremiah 29:13 says:


"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

My passion in life is to seek God with all of my heart. God is revealing Himself to me fully because I have given Him ALL of my life.
Minister Beth Moore said in her bible study that God often places His servants in positions to test their reasoning. God wants to see what you are going to do. Are we going to think like Christ or are we going to think like the world? The more I get to know the heart of God the more I start to think like God. I am living for the Lord and Him alone. Nothing is bigger than him, no problem is bigger than him. Because I have accepted the Lord as my savior He is on my side. Doesn't that give you so much confidence in your relationship with Christ. The lord is sovereign he is in total control he gives nothing and take nothing without a purpose. I believe that the Lord is being so gracious to me right now, giving me this time to be attached to Him. I pray that the Lord calls you to isolation like he has done to me so that by the end you may have a solid foundation and you can live life with true freedom. To read more about the sovereignty of God click on this link.
What is it mean that God is sovereign?

Read 1 Corinthians 1:26-31.
The passage talks about how we have worldly standards and then he describes how he uses the weak to teach the strong, the foolish to shame the wise so that no man can boast and that we can only boast in the Lord.

The way you live your life should             look different than the rest of the world, than everyone else around you. The way we interact with friends, the way our intimate relationships work, the way men pursue women, the way women wait for The man patiently, the way our lives revolve around the time we spend with the Lord. Man I love the Freedom in the Lord.

This passage speaks to me in the sense that sometimes I feel unworthy, I feel like I'm not good enough to be used by the Lord, or I'm not good enough for the Lord to choose me. BUT HE DID.
The Lord can use anyone if you except him as your savior and are willing to have an open heart so that God can do surgery on it. NOTHING IS TOO BAD FOR GOD.
Psalm 139:12 " Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day for darkness is as light with you."
He can use you just like he is using me, but the time is RIGHT NOW God wants you right now. Say these words if your ready for God to change your heart.

-----I am a sinner and I know that I can not earn eternal life. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and I believe that he is the son of God. I believe that He died on the cross for my sins and rose on the third day so that I could have eternal life. Forgive me for my sins and live in my heart through the Holy Spirit. I commit my life to love and serve you Lord. Thank you for my new salvation and my new heart. Lord I am weak but I know that you are strong. You can take these desires out of my life. I pray that you would change my heart to love what you love and to hate what you hate. Give me the burning desire to live for you! Lord give me a heart like yours.

Like the Holy Spirit RUSHED into David in 1 Samuel 16:13, the Holy Spirit has just rushed into you. It rushed because God could not wait! All it took was for your heart to speak! The angels are singing and right now I am worshiping and praising the Lord for his grace and mercy and love for my brother or sister in Christ!


When I started this entry for the day I didn't know what I was going to write about but thank the Lord he gave me the will to just start typing and eventually he spoke to me. Brothers and Sisters in Christ that's all it takes if for you to be willing to do what God is asking you to do. It starts with one word. If you were not a believer before you read the entry above and excepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, well then welcome to the family I will be seeing you ;) For those of you that think your saved but you don't live your life for Christ come back tomorrow, it's all for you. Those of you who are saved realize that we have to be able to hear God in order to obey Him. We have to take the time for Him like he has taken the time patiently for us. I promise if you giving God your time He will never stand you up :)

GOD IS LOVE,

NBASG